index message archive about ships wives


I’m re-reading John’s and Vriska’s first conversations, ahahsbjjs ;;__;;

Why do I do this to myself I’m gonna start crying

well okay not really but. AUUUUUGH.


my #11 homestuck fanfic pet peeve is when people make the assumption that john loves/is good at biology

john would fucking hate biology

john, like most homestuck characters, is a really smart kid in his own way, with a good sense of logic and well developed problem solving skills

like that time he figured out punch card alchemy single-handedly with just a handful of cards, a punch designix, and a basic knowledge of binary

but john’s cleverness comes from intuition.  john likes to figure out the answers to puzzles that interest him, by putting the pieces in his hands and messing around with them until they fit.  hard sciences involve rules, step-by-step reasoning, and procedure, and john isn’t even slightly interested in that shit because he thinks it’s boring


the reason john has ectobiologist as his chumhandle has nothing to do with a love of biology and everything to do with a love of lame science fiction tropes


john didn’t even want ectobiologist to be his chumhandle but his first choice, ghostytrickster, had to be abandoned when he was still trying to ditch the trolls


terezi dropped the word ectobiologist in the middle of one of her more overt death threats and john picked up on it

that is literally all there is to it

where does john being a science geek even come from anyway??? like is it the glasses or the fact that he’s nerdy or what because hell yeah john is absolutely a nerd but he’s a movie nerd, a joke nerd, a magic nerd, and a campy sci-fi nerd before anything else and there are like 0 fics out there that describe john acing a theatre final or a film studies paper, those all go to dave for some ridiculous reason (dave only cares about movie tropes long enough to shatter them) while john just sits there being really inexplicably good at biology and going to med school or becoming a marine biologist or some shit

anyway i don’t wanna police people’s headcanons too hard but i mean. all existing headcanons on this topic seem to be more or less the same and it’s getting kinda boring

the moral of the story is that next time you write a post-sburb/no-sburb fic where the kids are at school please try putting john in a film studies class or a computer science class before you default to biology, i guarantee your john characterization will be a million times more interesting and believable, do it for the children, or at least this one

Urban Forestry Class Project written for Dave Strider by John Egbert


Urban Forestry class

Ms. English

May 27, 2008

Group #1 the best

The Pros And Cons Of Urban Forests: 

Trees Are Good, But At What Cost?

absolutely writen by

Dave “Danger” Strider (group leader & older-brother figure)

A wise man once said “You can’t see the forest for the trees.” How wise was this man? Wicked wise. You have no idea. And it’s true! If there are a bunch of trees in the way, you can’t see the forest. Some people take the wise man’s words as some kind of irony thing, but look. If even one tree is in your way, you can’t see shit! It doesn’t always have to be some kind of riddle, sometimes wise people just say things that are true. Maybe there’s a forest way over there, and there’s a big-ass tree between you and over there. Can’t see through the tree, can you? So yeah, you literally can’t see the forest for the trees. Who’s ironic now? Not you, fucker.

Urban forestry is about forests in urban areas. This is a pretty decent idea, right? Wrong. Trees are good, yeah, but imagine trying to go to the store. You get in your Prius because hey, big ups to the environment, and you’re on your way to Safeway or Food Lion or whatever the shit they have in the South, by which I mean Austin or Dallas or something, where I, by which I mean Dave Strider, probably live. 

Where was I.

Oh yeah, Prius. Ok, so you’re on the road going to whatever shitty southern grocery chain that is popular, and you’re living your life. Boom. You are in a forest. Dappled light, unfurling ferns, a squirrel looks at you in a weird and creepy way. You’re fucked forever, because you live in a city! Your vehicle isn’t equipped for off-roading! You live in Texas, for Christ’s sake! Have fun living in the forest for the rest of your life. Hopefully you’ll be eaten by hungry wolves before you painfully starve to death in the winter.

IN CONCLUSION: urban forestry. Not today, asshole. I’m drawing a line in the sand, the sand of Houston’s beautiful beaches. No forests. Not on my watch. I’ll see you in Hell, English.



illustrated for your viewing pleasure



troll!John doodle for awesome anons 



FAKE Potential Homestuck ending #2: soul-bustin’ makes me feel good.

what the fuck


Listen to Doctor by Homestuck








imagethey got kicked out afterwards



I’ll bet this is why Caliborn hates John

i’m so happy