douchey john quotes
EB: that’s the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard.
TG: hey bro check it out im working on some new rhymes
EB: dude, i don’t have time for your nerdy raps!
TG: i think i could drop some sick rhymes about all this
EB: man, see i just don’t think all the rapping stuff is really as cool as you think it is.
TG: no thisll be dope check it
EB: no, i have to go! bye!
EB: so i think i have to get TG to use his copy to save her!
EB: but that jackass won’t shut up and stop rapping and stuff.
EB: stop rapping for a second you horse’s ass!
EB: all im saying is don’t you think monster howie mandel has the power to do something as simple as reseal a bottle?
EB: try using your brain numbnuts.
TG: all i see is lil cal over there so i guess he cant be far
EB: oh god.
EB: SO LAME.
EB: that’s fine, you are entitled to your opinion, i am just saying that being a white guy who is a rapper with a ventriloquist doll is not cool by any stretch of the imagination or by any definition of word cool, ironic or otherwise. that’s all i’m saying.
EB: what? oh man, you’re going to use that?
EB: that sucks, what a stupid idea!
TT: We have to hurry along. I’m running low on battery power.
EB: but the cake mix… ugh, that’s so dumb.
TT: I doubt it matters.
TT: We might as well just use any old crap lying around.
EB: i GUESS.
EB: did you know he thinks puppets are cool?
TT: Does he?
EB: he’s so dumb!!
EB: you mean these stairs?
EB: man, look at these shitty stairs…
EB: they’re so narrow! i’m supposed to climb those?
TT: They’re perfectly navigable.
EB: yes, it is understandable because you are really attractive. i am attracted to you.
TG: thank you
EB: jk haha.
EB: you mean that cheap piece of shit you have on your wall?
TG: its sharp and its awesome and its a sword
TG: end of story
EB: ok i don’t really care.
JOHN: haha, dave looks like kind of a doofus with that snug little hood.
EB: ok, this time i’ll believe you that you aren’t human.
EB: because the skepticism center of my brain is starting to wear kind of thin i guess.
EB: but you’re still a major asshole and i don’t actually want to talk to you, so bye.
EB: friendship isn’t an emotion fucknuts.
CG: SEE, THAT IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.
CG: YOU’RE MUCH MORE TOLERABLE A GUY THAN I THOUGHT AT FIRST, OK JOHN?
EB: why are you kissing my ass?
EB: i am not bitter! i just think your plan is dumb.
EB: this is the worst crap i have ever seen.
EB: what am i looking at here?
GC: 1TS TH3 B3ST 1 CAN DO
EB: ok sorry but it’s useless.
EB: what’s with these colors.
GC: 1 P1CK3D ON3S TH4T SM3LL N1C3
EB: i guess i’ll make this rocket now.
EB: and see if this dumbass code actually does the trick.
EB: so, you seem to like 8’s a whole bunch, and i guess you are like, kind of spidery themed or something?
EB: haha, spiders are gross!
AG: Fuck you!!!!!!!!
JOHN: oh fuck, it’s dave sprite!!!
JOHN: i forgot about him.
DAVESPRITE: yeah no shit
JOHN: you are like a furry now, but not really the weird kind that people on the internet like to have sex with in their imagination.